The beginnings of my meditation journey are very much intertwined with my leadership journey. First time ever that I began a regular morning meditation was within a few months of becoming a first-time software engineering manager. And yes, while there were several factors that influenced me, they can be summed up in “I picked up meditation so I wouldn’t lose my shit when dealing with all the stuff”.
After about half a year of following the routine of brushing teeth following by 15-min of silent sitting, I went online and Dharma Refuge meditation center popped up as the first search result. That was back in 2017. I showed up for meditation but stayed for the community and the Dharma teachings. Today, I am heavily involved as a volunteer and serve as the president of the board of that community.
The Tool vs. The Path
A lot of people meditate purely as a secular exercise. Some use it simply to quiet their mind, and if that works for them, that’s great.
To me, meditation is different from that and its practice is very much intertwined with what I cautiously call a spiritual path (a term I used to have a strong aversion to until I found a definition that actually made sense to me).
In our community, we talk a lot about the Dharma. If you aren’t familiar with the word, it translates roughly to “the teachings” or “the path.” The way I view it, meditation is simply a tool or a technique. Yes, it can be used to calm ones mind. But the Dharma goes so much further. It is the instruction manual that teaches you how to use meditation to observe and cultivate your thoughts, change how you work with and respond to your emotions and ultimately discover who you are. Borrowing from Robert Kegan, I’d go as far as to claim that these teachings could allow a person to become truly self-transformating.
My Current Practice
My practice these days is a mix of daily effort and community grounding:
- Daily: 15-min morning meditation at home (though there are weeks/months/years when consistency is struggle)
- 2-3 Times Per Week: I take yoga classes, which for me is a combination of physical exercise, pure suffering and a form of moving meditation. And typically I show up 10-15 min early to sit before the class begins.
- Weekly/Monthly: I try to attend our local meditation center a couple of times a month. I also host a monthly “extended sitting” where we keep the center open 10a to 5p for anyone looking for a silent environment.
- Annually: I attend a 5-to-6-day residential silent retreat, usually alternating between retreats with Anam Thubten and at Wonderwell retreat center operated by Natural Dharma Fellowship.